Lost on Planet China or How I Learned to Love Live Squid | 
 enlarge | Author: J. Maarten Troost
Publisher: Broadway
Category: Book
List Price: $22.95
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Rating:  31 reviews
Sales Rank: 22806
Media: Hardcover
Pages: 400
Number Of Items: 1
Shipping Weight (lbs): 1.1
Dimensions (in): 8.4 x 5.4 x 1.4
ISBN: 076792200X
Dewey Decimal Number: 915.1046
EAN: 9780767922005
ASIN: 076792200X
Publication Date: July 8, 2008
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
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Amazon.com Review
bAmazon Best of the Month, July 2008/b: Maarten Troost is a ilaowai/i (foreigner) in the Middle Kingdom, ill-equipped with a sliver of Mandarin, questing to discover the "essential iChineseness/i" of an ancient and often mystifying land. What he finds is a country with its feet suctioned in the clay of traditional culture and a head straining into the polluted stratosphere of unencumbered capitalism, where cyclopean portraits of Chairman Mao (largely perceived as mostly good, except for that nasty bit toward the end) spoon comfortably with Hong Kong's embrace of rat-race modernity. From Beijing and its blitzes of flying phlegm--and girls who lend new meaning to "Chinese take-out"--to the legendary valley of Shangri-La (as officially designated by the Party), Troost learns that his very survival may hinge on his underdeveloped haggling skills and a willingness to deploy iRollerball/i-grade elbows over a seat on a train. Featuring visits to Mao's George Hamiltonian corpse and a rural market offering Siberian Tiger paw, cobra hearts, and scorpion kebabs (in the food section), iLost on Planet China/i is a funny and engrossing trip across a nation that increasingly demands the world's attention. i--Jon Foro/i p/ bMaarten Troost's Travel Tips for China/b p/ b1. /bFood can be classified as meat, poultry, grain, fish, fruit, vegetable and Chinese. Embrace the Chinese. If you love it, it will love you back. True, you may find yourself perplexed by what resides on your plate. You may even be appalled. The Chinese have an expression: iWe eat everything with four legs except the table, and anything with two legs except the person/i. They mean it too. And so you may find yourself in a restaurant in Guangzhou contemplating the spicy cow veins; or the yak dumplings in Lhasa, or the grilled frog in Shanghai, or the donkey hotpot in the Hexi Corridor, or the live squid on the island of Putuoshan. And you may not know, exactly, what it is you re supposed to do. Should you pluck at this with your chopsticks? The meal may seem so very strange. True, you may be comfortable eating a cow, or a pig, or a chicken, yet when confronted with a yak or a swan or a cat, you do not reflexively think of sauces and marinades. The Chinese do however. And so you should eat whatever skips across your table. It is here where you can experience the complexity of China. And you will be rewarded. Very often, it is exceptionally good. And when it is not, it is undoubtedly interesting. And really, when traveling what more can one ask for. So go on. Eat as the locals do. However, should you find yourself confronted with a heaping platter of Cattle Penis with Garlic, you re on your own. p/ b2. /bTo really see China, go to the market. Any market will do. This is where China lives and breathes. It is here where you will find the sights, sounds and smells of China. And it is in a Chinese market where you will experience epic bargaining. The Chinese excel at bargaining. They live and breathe it. It is an art; it is a sport. It is, above all, nothing personal. If you do not parry back and forth, you will be regarded as a chump, a walking ATM machine, a carcass to be picked over. And so as you peruse the cabbage or consider the silk, be prepared to bargain. The objective, of course, is to obtain the iChinese price/i. You will, however, never actually receive the Chinese price. It is the holy grail for ilaowais/i--or foreigners--in China. Your status as a laowai is determined by how proximate your haggling gets you to the mythical Chinese price. But you will never obtain the Chinese price. Accept this. But if you re very, very good, and you bargain long and hard, and if you are lucky and catch your interlocutor on an off day, you may, just may, receive the ispecial price/i. Consider yourself fortunate. p/ b3. /bTravelers are often told to get off the beaten path, to take the road less traveled, to march to a different drum. You don't need to do this in China. The road well-traveled is a very fine road. The French Concession in Shanghai is splendid. The Forbidden City is a wonder of the world. So too the Terracotta Warriors in Xi'an. Indeed, the Chinese say so themselves. There is much to be seen in places that are often seen. And yet... China is not merely a country. It is not a place defined by sights. It is a world upon itself, a different planet even. And to see it--to feel it--means leaving that well-traveled road. And China is an excellent place for wandering. From the monasteries of Tibet to the rainforests of Yunnan Province and onward through the deserts of Xinjiang to the frozen tundra of Heilongjiang Province, China offers a vast kaleidoscope of people and terrain unlike anywhere else on Earth. This may seem intimidating to the China traveler. Will there be picture menus in the Taklamakan Desert? (No.) Is Visa accepted in Inner Mongolia? (Not likely.) Still, one should move beyond the Great Wall. And if you can manage to cross six lanes of traffic in Beijing, you can manage the slow train to Kunming. p/ b4. /bHell is a line in China. You are so forewarned. p/ b5. /bManners are important in China. How can this be, you wonder? You have, for instance, experienced a line in China. Your ribs have been pummeled. You have been trampled upon by grandmothers who are not more than four feet tall. You have learned, simply by queuing in the airport taxi line, what it is like to ieat bitter/i, an evocative Chinese expression that conveys suffering. This does not seem upon first impression to be a country overly concerned with prim etiquette. But it is. True, hawking enormous, gelatinous loogies is perfectly acceptable in China. And a good belch is fine as well. And picking your teeth after dinner is a sign of urbane sophistication. But this does not mean that manners are not taken seriously in China. It s just that they are different in China. And so feel free to spit and burp, but do not even think of holding your chopsticks with your left hand. You will be regarded as an ill-mannered rube. So watch your manners in China. But learn them first. br/br/ hr class="bucketDivider" noshade="true" size="1"
Product Description
pbThe bestselling author of iThe Sex Lives of Cannibals /ireturns with a sharply observed, hilarious account of his adventures in China#8212;a complex, fascinating country with enough dangers and delicacies to keep him, and readers, endlessly entertained. br/bbrMaarten Troost has charmed legions of readers with his laugh-out-loud tales of wandering the remote islands of the South Pacific. When the travel bug hit again, he decided to go big-time, taking on the world#8217;s most populous and intriguing nation. In iLost on Planet China, /iTroost escorts readers on a rollicking journey through the new beating heart of the modern world, from the megalopolises of Beijing and Shanghai to the Gobi Desert and the hinterlands of Tibet. bribrLost on Planet China/i finds Troost dodging deadly drivers in Shanghai; eating Yak in Tibet; deciphering restaurant menus (offering local favorites such as Cattle Penis with Garlic); visiting with Chairman Mao (still dead, very orange); and hiking (with 80,000 other people) up Tai Shan, China#8217;s most revered mountain. But in addition to his trademark gonzo adventures, the book also delivers a telling look at a vast and complex country on the brink of transformation that will soon shape the way we all work, live, and think. As Troost shows, while we may be familiar with Yao Ming or dim sum or the cheap, plastic products that line the shelves of every store, the real China remains a world#8212;indeed, a planet--unto itself. brbrMaarten Troosti /ibrings China to life as you#8217;ve never seen it before, and his insightful, rip-roaringly funny narrative proves that once again he is one of the most entertaining and insightful armchair travel companions around./p
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| Customer Reviews: Read 26 more reviews...
 A superficial view of the obvious January 3, 2009
Duck9s@aol.com (Edinboro, Pa)
0 out of 1 found this review helpful
This is written by a citizen without a country. It is a tolerable but superficial view of what any amateur traveler could find as obvious. I found it to be immature and disappointing. A reader deserves better for his money than we got. br /
 What was the point of the book? December 26, 2008
Michael Wilmot (panama city beach,fl)
I liked this book because I am a fan of Troost. He is gifted and has a unique way of conveying his travel adventures. br /I thought the point of the book was, "Should Maarten move his family to China?" During the last chapter I kept waiting for Maarten's Yes or No answer to the question. br / br /Did he answer the question and I missed it? Did he move there? Anyway, I would rate this his 3rd best book because the previous two were outstanding! br /Mik
 Excellent China Primer with Pantented Troost Wit Humour December 10, 2008
T. gates (nyc)
1 out of 1 found this review helpful
This is a great lap around China, with hilarity and history thrown in. If you've never read Troost's stuff, it feels more like you're hanging out with him than reading his books. He's done an excellent job at putting much of China's complex past in a capsule, as well as painting just how astounding (yet often frustrating) the country is. This book feels more like "travel writing" than his last two but this is not necessarily a bad thing - his commentary works well in this environment as well. This book is recommended on a few levels. First, anyone who enjoys a good Theroux or Bryson book will love this. Second, it's a fantastic way to get a geographic lay of the land in question. And third, it's really f***king funny.
Clueless on Planet China December 7, 2008
Illinois MD
0 out of 2 found this review helpful
After J Maarten Troost spent all the time and money to travel through (parts of) China, he had no choice but to write a book. You however have a choice as to whether to buy the book, and I recommend you don't. There are many books that give an honest appraisal of the pluses and minuses (and yes as one who has traveled there, there are many minuses including the pollution), but this is not one of them!
Cured me of my China wanderlust! November 22, 2008
Lois Lain (San Francisco Bay Area, CA)
1 out of 1 found this review helpful
I'm a sucker for off-the-beaten-path, tell-it-like-it-is, humorous travelogues, and Maarten Troost doesn't disappoint in "Lost on Planet China." His tales of being a Westerner throughout the vast land of China are alternately gasp-inducing, stomach-churning, and rip-roaring hilarious. Whether he's dealing with the yellowish haze of Beijing or trekking up the country's tallest mountains, Troost takes his readers along and pulls no punches. I would willingly read more of his books, but I really could do without the occasional Bush-bashing that adds nothing to the story and merely makes him look whiny in that "let's throw rocks at the Republicans" sort of way.
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